10 Relationship Strategies to Strengthen Your Love This Valentine’s Day and Beyond
By Danai Maraire
Danai Maraire
Valentine’s Day presents a perfect moment to reflect on our relationships—especially romantic ones. Research consistently shows that the quality of our relationships significantly impacts our emotional and physical well-being. In fact, a 2023 study from the American Psychological Association found that couples who actively invest in their relationship—through communication, shared experiences, and conflict resolution—are 45% more likely to describe their relationship as "very satisfying" compared to those who neglect these efforts. However, many relationships falter due to issues that are preventable, such as lack of emotional connection, unresolved conflicts, and daily neglect.
The good news? By implementing proven relationship strategies rooted in mutual understanding, teamwork, and respect, couples can foster a deeper, more fulfilling bond.
This Valentine’s Day, let’s prioritize the habits that lead to thriving partnerships, starting with these 10 essential strategies.
1. Become Curious About Your Partner’s Needs
Commit to truly understanding your partner’s love needs. Emotional neglect can slowly erode any relationship, and no one enters a marriage or partnership to feel unseen. As Scripture says, “Dwell together in understanding.” Study your partner and remain a lifelong learner of their desires, dreams, and struggles. Understanding what makes your partner tick equips you to meet their needs with intention.
2. Turn Towards Your Partner, Not Away
Listening is more than hearing; it’s about turning towards your partner when they seek attention or affection. Acknowledge and accept their bids for connection. As Dr. John Gottman emphasizes, consistent efforts to turn towards each other build trust and emotional intimacy, the foundations of a lasting relationship. Every time your partner reaches out for connection—whether it’s a simple comment, a gesture, or a request—they are making an emotional bid. Acknowledge these moments and respond with interest. Consistently recognizing and turning towards these bids strengthens emotional intimacy and prevents disconnection.
3. Differentiate Between Feedback and Criticism
Feedback is constructive and solution-focused, offering insight to improve the relationship. Criticism, on the other hand, is often rooted in frustration and lacks actionable solutions. Embrace feedback as an opportunity to grow, not as a personal attack. A shift in perspective can turn conflict into connection.
4. Model the Behavior You Want to See
Don’t demand respect or love—model it. If you want kindness, offer kindness. If you desire open communication, practice it. When you lead by example, you create a positive standard for your relationship. Matching good behavior rather than bad encourages your partner to rise to the same level.
5. Master the Art of Repair
Conflicts are inevitable, but how you handle them matters most. Learn to apologize sincerely, take responsibility for your mistakes, and repair emotional wounds quickly. A couple’s ability to resolve conflict effectively is a key predictor of a strong, resilient bond.
6. Be Proactive in Supporting Your Partner
When your partner feels overwhelmed, step in to help without waiting to be asked. Whether it’s handling domestic chores, providing emotional support, or sharing burdens, showing up for your partner fosters a sense of teamwork. Remember, love is demonstrated in actions, not just words.
7. Keep Politics Out of Your Relationship
In a highly polarized world, political debates can create unnecessary tension. Prioritize the health of your relationship over differences in political opinions. Focus on common values and mutual respect to maintain harmony.
8. Prioritize Fairness in Domestic Responsibilities
Many women cite the unequal division of household labor as a major source of frustration in their relationships.Research shows that couples who prioritize open communication and emotional support are 31% more likely to report being “very happy” in their relationships. A Journal of Family Psychology study found that partners who openly share their stress are more satisfied with their relationship.
Additionally, data from the American Sociological Association reveals that approximately 69% of divorces are initiated by women. The reality is, if one partner feels like they’re juggling both a career and the majority of domestic work, resentment can grow.
Share the load fairly to ensure both partners feel valued and supported.
9. Cultivate Gratitude and Appreciation
Never take your partner for granted. A University of Illinois study found that individuals who both expressed and perceived gratitude reported higher relationship satisfaction, greater confidence in their relationship's future, and reduced instability, such as fewer thoughts of ending the relationship. Moreover, higher levels of perceived gratitude buffered against stresses like financial strain and ineffective arguing, helping couples maintain satisfaction and confidence despite these challenges.
Most of our parents taught us to express gratitude and the data supports it. Regularly expressing appreciation for your partner's actions, both big and small, fosters a positive atmosphere and reinforces the love and respect essential for a thriving relationship.
10. Build a Solid Friendship
Too often couples choose partners that they do not actually like. They’re physically attracted and there’s chemistry, but they fail to develop a genuine friendship. The result: they enter a marriage with someone they don’t like, admire, respect, honor or are inspired by. Surprising, yes? Unfortunately, many individuals were never taught how to be friends, so they can’t keep a partner because in order to keep a partner you have to be a friend.
While I believe in gender roles and teach a ton in that area - exploring the ins and outs of masculinity and femininity, you must ask yourself DO I LIKE THIS PERSON and does this person genuinely like me? If you fail to answer both of these questions in the affirmative, you’re missing the boat. I hate to admit that I have had many couples realize this AFTER marriage.
Friendship is the foundation for the strongest healthiest relationships
Stack Your Relationship Toolbox
Relationships are among the most fulfilling of human experiences. Yet like anything else, we can educate ourselves and learn how to do relationships better. If we want a romantic relationship or marriage to go the distance, we must build on a foundation of friendship. If we’re going to spend the rest of our lives with someone we must enjoy their company (more often than not), share core values and enjoy the simplicities of life together because life is made up of small moments.
By adding tried and true strategies to your relationship toolbox, you increase your chances of long term success. Through actions like sharing the load, mastering conflict resolution, and recognizing your partner’s needs—you can create a partnership that feels balanced, supportive, and fulfilling for both parties. Let this be the year you prioritize understanding, love, and teamwork in your relationship, paving the way for a stronger, dynamic relationship that stands the test of time.
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Danai Maraire ranks among the top 20 leading relationship influencers in America. She is the founder ofBlack Marriage Movement,a loyal and highly engaged community of nearly 500,000 marriage-minded individuals.